Almost There and a Little Self-Care

I’m excited to share that I’ll complete my clinic hours for massage training on November 5th! As of this writing, that’s just over a week away.

It’s been such an affirming experience – filled with positive feedback from clients and supervisors alike. Each week has felt like a deepening of both skill and connection, not only with my clients but also with the loving non-corporal beings who work with and through me.

You may not know that with every client, I invite Reiki, my Guides and Teachers, and my client’s own spiritual support to be present for the their highest good. This partnership of energy and intention is a core part of what I call SoulBody Integration. Through my clinic work, that connection has become stronger and more tangible. I can’t wait to graduate and begin sharing this gift with the world!

Until then, I want to share something that may be helpful to you.

Easing the “Techno-Hunch”

We live in a world of computers, cell phones, and ever-present screens. These tools serve us well, but they also draw us into hunched-over postures that create tension in the shoulders, neck, and upper back – and the tightness can even go down into the low back and legs. Over time, our muscles may develop a chronic tightness, pulling the body forward, rounding the shoulders, and stiffening the whole system.

Unless we intentionally counter this techno-hunch (did I just coin a term?), the pattern deepens. Additionally, the repetitive use of our hands and fingers can irritate nerves and blood vessels, which, over time, may lead to carpal tunnel syndrome.

So, what can we do?
Here are a few stretches to help unwind and release that tension:

Hands:

• Place your elbow on a table or desk, palm up.

• With your other hand, gently press on one finger at a time until you feel a stretch – no pain, just gentle tension.

• Gently push your thumb toward the wrist.

• Repeat 2–3 times per finger, then switch hands.

Chest:

1. Stand facing a wall. Extend one arm out at shoulder height (straight or bent, whichever feels better). Slowly turn your feet and body away from that arm until you feel a stretch across your chest. Hold for a count of 6, relax, and repeat – turning a little farther the second time. Repeat with the other arm.

2. Stand with your back to a chair or countertop. Interlace your fingers behind your back and rest your hands on the surface at a comfortable height. Slowly squat down, keeping your face forward, until you feel a stretch in the chest and/or shoulders. Hold for 5 seconds, then repeat.
   Advanced: Stand with feet wide apart, fingers interlaced behind your back. Breathing deeply, bend over, lifting your arms toward the ceiling so they’re perpendicular to the floor. Let your arms fall forward and hold for 5 seconds. Relax and repeat.

Neck:

• Standing, reach one hand behind your back and grab the opposite wrist.

• Gently pull that wrist down as you tilt your ear toward the shoulder of the arm behind your back.

• When you feel a good stretch, hold for 5 seconds, then release and repeat.

• Repeat on the other side.

My plan for Foster Wholeness is to take the licensing exam at the end of November. After that, I’ll be looking for massage work with another practitioner or wellness center while continuing to build my own practice. My ultimate goal is to be fully self-employed. So please tell your family and friends about my work! For each new client who mentions your name, you’ll get $10 off your next session.

I’ll be sure to let you know when I’m licensed and ready to begin offering sessions full- or part-time.

Namaste,
Don

A Chapter Closes

For the last year, most of my days have been spent in massage therapy classes or studying, to absorb and retain all the information presented. I had multiple courses in Anatomy and Physiology, as well as classes in Pathology, Business, Kinetics, Stretching, and of course, various types of massage. I am happy to share that I passed with very high marks, and now the classroom chapter is complete.

During much of this year, many of you have received free massages in my home or at Unity Temple on the Plaza. I want to thank all of you for your support in whatever form it has come. Your encouragement, patience, and trust gave me space to learn, practice, and grow. So, I can’t thank you enough.

With your help, I have also been able to develop a whole-person modality I call SoulBody Integration. This begins with a spiritually focused, compassionate conversation about what’s happening with you and your body, followed by bodywork that may include Reiki, various types of massage, and CranioSacral Therapy (a gentle neuromuscular technique designed to release tension on all levels). It is an etheric experience that’s different for everyone and it must be felt to be understood.

Until my graduation in November, I will continue to offer free massage, while gratefully receiving any energy exchange you may wish to offer. I will also be offering chair-massage at Unity on the Plaza and the Fillmore Café at Unity Village. After November, chair-massage at these locations will still be free and my fee for SoulBody Integration will be $90 for any session – between 60 and 90 minutes. Each session and its length will be shaped by your needs in the moment.

To honor the sacredness of my home and my work, I offer sessions on a referral-only basis. So, I invite your help in spreading the word. If you appreciate what I do, please let your family and friends know about me. And don’t worry. I will always have time for you.

By the way, you may have noticed the new email address. Foster Wellness has been dissolved to make room for Foster Wholeness — a name that reflects what has always been at the heart of my work. Please be sure to update your contacts so we can stay connected.

As I step into this next chapter, I am deeply grateful for the ways you’ve supported and encouraged me. I look forward to continuing to serve you and those you love. May our work together bring healing, wholeness, and peace.

With gratitude,
Namaste,
Don

816-506-871

fosterwholeness@outlook.com

Back to School

In a few weeks, I will start massage school, again. In 1983, at the age of 26, I studied massage therapy at the Institute for Holistic Studies in Santa Barbra, CA. I was one of a few dozen people attending. But the nature of the class made it a very personal experience. One day, the instructor was giving a lecture. I don’t remember what the topic was. But suddenly, he and I were engaged in a conversation, and it seemed as if we were the only two in the room. He would begin to explain something, and I would finish his sentence. Then I would start to expand on the idea, and he would finish my thought. But “finish” isn’t exactly right because our sentences were incomplete. The conversation was fragment to others, and yet we had complete understanding of what was being said because we had a mental connection like I’d never had before. The rest of the class was quiet and seemed confused. Then Phil, the instructor, continued as if nothing unusual had happened.

It was in that brief conversation that I became truly grounded in understanding that we are more than our bodies. There is more to us and to life than what we can touch, see, feel, taste, and hear and we are connected in ways that go beyond the world of five senses.  I was introduced to an experience of the metaphysical. That introduction led me to years of giving what might be called psychic massages. I connected with my clients through touch and listened to what their bodies were telling me. I would “hear” their needs and the cause of the struggles they faced, the trauma they had experienced and then provide a massage based on what I’d heard. I spent 15 years doing massage this way. But I added an element to it. After graduation from massage school, I deepened my understanding of metaphysics at the Institute for Psychic Studies and Research. My studies included spiritual anatomy, palmistry, numerology, astrology, and phrenology to name a few classes. The more I studied, the more I was intrigued by the physical and metaphysical universe that is the human being. I developed an intuition that was triggered by touch. There were times when my perspective was from inside the client’s body. We were energetically merged. Then in 1985, I found Reiki. 

The late Joyce Morris was the Director of the Reiki Center of Los Angeles and the author of the book “Hands That Heal.” In a two-day workshop, I learned First Degree Reiki. Her method of teaching at the time included two attunements, one on each day. As I drove home from the first day of the workshop, I saw everything bathed in a beautiful purplish-blue light and I felt wrapped in a blanket of love. I don’t remember anything significant from the second day. But the next 7 years of my life were a fast track to wonderful things that I attribute to Reiki being a part of me and my life. I met and married my wonderful, supportive, and loving wife, Cynthia. I worked at some high-profile fitness centers as a massage therapist, working with a few celebrities and boosting my income. I continued my study of Reiki. Cynthia and I started attending a Unity church, which eventually led to us becoming ministers. And we brought our first child, a brilliant, shining light, into the world.

Fast forward 41 years from massages school in Santa Barbara to massage school in Kansas City. I keep thinking, “I’m old enough to be some of these kids’ parent or grandparent.” “Can my body still do this”? and “I’m not carrying my table around to do house calls!” And of course, there’s the excitement. I loved doing massage! I still love doing the few massages I do on friends and family. (No I don’t get paid. That would be illegal). And I feel I was guided to this path. I spent what felt like way too long listening for “what is next for me.” But I think this is the answer. I think this is my next way of being the highest expression of my true nature and being of service to others, humanity, and the world.  So, just like most things, I’m starting something new with mixed feelings. But trusting in spiritual guidance and I’m excited for what the future holds as I go back to school.

Your Divine Essence

I’m sorry for my absence over the past few months. Between tending to my wife after her surgery and taking a deep dive into myself as a healer, I have not reached outside of this entity called Don for a while. And it’s been good.

In 2016, I made a conscious effort to rediscover who I really am beyond the expectations, habits and superimposed persona. I let go of doing things out of obligation. I questioned what and why I was doing everything and anything. And I asked myself, “What do you really want?” The process brought me to a cleaner expression of who I really am, closer to my True Nature. As a result, I felt freer. I felt stronger.

It didn’t happen over night. It went on for years. “It” being shining the light on the Shadow of my soul and bringing the light to consciousness. There were valleys and peeks for sure. The downs were deep. But the highs were comparably high, if not more so. It was in this time that I realized that the Shadow part of me, that part that I had hidden from myself and others, is an integral part of me. Hiding it cut me off from the real Me. And that Shadow part of me just wants to be loved and accepted - integrated. When I can do that, when I can love and integrate what was considered unacceptable about me, I am empowered, healed, restored to wholeness. That has been, and continues to be my work – shining the light in the Shadow.

About two months ago, my wife had major surgery and there was a moment in the cardiac ICU, where she wasn’t breathing on her own. She was in such a state of rest, or exhaustion that I could feel her drifting way. I stood by her bed reminding her to breathe, feeling like an annoyance while the fear of losing her weighed on my heart. The fear, the confusion, and ineffectiveness were similar to when I found out 4 years ago that I had prostate cancer. Why can’t I, a “powerful healer” do anything?

My wife is fine. She is back to leaving me in the dust as we walk around the block. My cancer is in remission (technically next year). And our journeys have steered me towards a deeper dive into my Reiki skills and practice. Not to get too technical, but, in addition to the Usui Reiki method, I’ve now studied Karuna, Psychic and Shinpiden (or mystery teaching) Reiki. Through it all, I found what I have intuitively known since I started Reiki in 1985. Reiki can be a tool for healing. But the main focus is spiritual development. Usui taught that the initial purpose of Reiki was to achieve what is called satori, finding ones spiritual path and healing oneself through connection with the Universal Life Force. Much like the Hawaiian practice of ho’oponopono, when you heal yourself and live from Divine Essence, you draw out the Essence of others. The oneness, or unity with the Force heals. Aligned with your True Self you come into harmony with wholeness.  

So, I invite you to take time every day to focus your attention on the space that is three finger widths below your navel and about 2 inches in. Drop your awareness into this space and as breathe in slowly and deeply, imagine drawing the energy of the earth into your whole body. Become aware of what this energy feels like, and how it makes you feel. Explore it with all your senses.

This is part of what I’ve been doing over the last 6 months.  It is part of what I will be teaching in my practice of Spiritual Growth Facilitation. I’m not sure what it will look like, exactly. But it will be fun exploring it with you as we all learn to align with and express our Divine Essence.

Forest Bathing

It wasn’t a bad winter here in Kansas City. But, as always, I am grateful that spring has arrived. My wife and I consider ourselves “weather wimps.” We don’t like it too hot. But we don’t like it too cold, either. Even though a teacher once told me “There is no bad weather, only bad clothing choices,” in the winter, we pretty much hide in the house until the temperatures start reaching the mid sixties. Then, we talk walks. We’re out in the garden. Sometimes, I’ll just sit outside and do “nothing.” Of course there is no way to just do nothing. Even when you’re doing nothing at the very least you’re breathing. So, I like Parker Palmer’s term “taking sabbath.” I just sit and take sabbath.

Taking sabbath is a time not just of physical rest from activity. It is a time of mental rest from thinking about the past or contemplating the future. It really is a time of mindfulness or being aware of what is in the moment. I like to sit on the enclosed deck and listen to the birds chirping, watch the chipmunks scurrying, and the whole outdoors responding to whatever nature is up to. Some of my favorite moments are after my wife and I have eaten on the deck. We just sit being present to each other and everything around us, taking sabbath. Just thinking about it, I can feel my body relax and my mind become quiet. Nature has always had that affect on me.

You may have heard the story of how I learned to meditate. As a teenager, I used to walk through the woods to a nearby river. I would cross the bridge over the river and make my way to my place on a rock, right next to the water. When times were difficult, I would let all the tension and worries go into the flow of the passing river. Other times, I would just sit there enjoying the peaceful surroundings. Once, after I was married with a small child, I took my whole family there – mother, father, wife, and child. Holding my young daughter, I stepped out to a rock in the middle of the river and told her about why this area was my spot. I told her that if she listened, she could hear the woods breathe. As I finished, I saw a faerie dancing on the ripples of the water. I pointed her out to my child who laughed at the sight.

Nature is very healing and now, as we enter spring, even I want to be outside in it. According to National Geographic, Forest Bathing “emerged in Japan in the 1980s as a physiological and psychological exercise called shinrin-yoku (“forest bathing” or “taking in the forest atmosphere”). The purpose was twofold: to offer an eco-antidote to tech-boom burnout and to inspire residents to reconnect with and protect the country’s forests.” Although the term is new, the practice is not. I was doing it in the 1970’s and people for centuries have known the power, and peace that can be found in nature.

So, when the weather is warm, get out and do some forest/nature bathing. If you have enough privacy, doing it in your birthday suit is even better. I have a friend in Kansas who can guide you (clothed). Check out her website and tell Shannon I said “Hi.” https://divinenaturetherapy.com.

Shine Your Light!

Abdul Kalam, aerospace scientist and 11th president of India, said, “We are all born with a divine fire in us. Our efforts should be to give wings to this fire and fill the world with the glow of its goodness.” What he did not say was that we are also born into the world with imperfect caregivers, in an imperfect society that teaches us not how to give wings to the fire within. But to hide that fire and fit into an imperfect culture.

As we learn to adapt to our environment and our culture we create what Carl Jung called the Shadow. The understanding of the Shadow has changed over time. But it is basically comprised of those parts of us that we have learned are unacceptable. Our fears and our anger, for men our softness, for women their strength, these are examples of things society has deemed unacceptable and many of us have gone along with it since childhood. Today, our intelligence and self-confidence, our deep spirituality, and other positive qualities can also be part of the Shadow. These aspects are sometimes referred to as the Golden Shadow.

The Golden Shadow, the Dark Shadow, and the persona or masks we present to the world, are all part of what make us who we are. We need them all and we need to accept them all as aspects that make us whole. If we deny any part of us, we limit our ability to express our true selves.

Let me tell you briefly of a dream I had once when working with my Shadow-self. I was running from a shadowy figure feeling afraid he was going to catch me and my family and hurt us. We hid. But he found us, and I stood face to face with him. In that moment, I realized several things. He was drawn to the light. He didn’t want to hurt us. He wanted to be loved and embraced. And he was me.

I came away from that dream with a greater respect for my need to let go of what other people think is acceptable about me and love all of me. Who I am today is a result of the thoughts and feelings I’ve had and the beliefs I’ve developed. And each experience has been an opportunity for me to integrate and become my best self.  Experiences aren’t opportunities for me to compartmentalize and separate myself into “good” and “bad.” They are opportunities to grow and become more whole in every way. Not good or bad. Just “me.”

In my youth, I tried very hard to be the person other people wanted me to be. I became so unhappy that I began drinking and doing drugs as a preteen. I thought I was numbing the pain of not being accepted for who I am. But with greater wisdom, I’ve realized, I was numbing the pain of not being who I am.

So, we have work to do if we want to “give wings to this fire and fill the world with the glow of its goodness.” We have to come out of the trance of unworthiness and realize who we are. We are magnificent beings, born with the light of the universe that waits to shine through each of us in a way it can shine through no one else.

Namaste being of light.