Learned Somatic Stress Response

I can say with near certainty that most of my massage clients tell me some version of this: “I hold my stress in my neck and shoulders.”

It’s said casually with some understanding that the body holds emotions.

According to a 2024 article from the Cleveland Clinic, “Stress is the natural reaction your body has when changes or challenges occur. It can result in many different physical, emotional and behavioral responses.” ​

Stress is our reaction to outside pressures. It signals our bodies to act. The heart rate goes up. The breath becomes shallow and quick. The jaw gets tight. The hands clench. The shoulders constrict towards the ears. The nervous system shifts from “rest and restore” to “fight or flight.” Essentially, you’re ready for a clash.

When the challenge is over, rest and restore, the parasympathetic nervous system natural kicks in. Breathing becomes deeper. The heart slows. Shoulders drop. The sympathetic nervous system calms and relaxes the body. But what if the brain still perceives a challenge and remains on guard longer than is necessary?

We say that we “hold stress” in our bodies because we don’t know how to release it or we don’t feel safe enough to relax. Growing up, we were taught how to read and write and do arithmetic. But very few of us were taught how to tend to our inner signals and needs. There was a great sense of importance on "doing" than on "being." How many people really know how to feel or express anger or grief in skillful ways?

Without these intangible skills - emotional management, interpersonal navigation, mind-body awareness etc. - our health can suffer. Without these skills, we hold on to our difficult emotions and our bodies, from our cells to our systems, remain on alert and chronic, unresolved stress can settle in and contribute to muscle tension, insomnia , digestive issues, headaches, and a host of other physical conditions.

The body holds emotions that we haven’t been able to manage well.

So, what do we do?

Psychologists and social workers, and other talk-therapy professionals can help us learn to identify and navigate our emotional landscapes. I have personally worked with psychologists and spiritual directors off and on over the past 40 years with very positive results.  Being heard, guided and sometimes challenged has helped me better understand myself and my emotions as I navigate what Shakespeare called "the slings and arrows" of life.

That is powerful, but not always enough.

I have sometimes found unexpected physical and emotional release in the form of tears and twitches while on the massage table. Everything came together in the right way for my mind, body and emotions to let go of what might have been buried for decades. I’ve had similar experiences with CranioSacral therapy as the contained energy within me swelled like a balloon and burst releasing back into the universe in the form of sobs leaving me more open and heart centered.

Having a trusted therapist gently hold an area that is guarded can help the nervous system settle, the body feel free, as emotions surface.

These therapies help support the skillful management and integration of emotions in different ways. Talk therapy helps us make meaning. Body-based therapies help us experience relaxation and release. Together, they can restore balance, increase coherence, and reconnect us with parts of ourselves that have been guarded or shut down.

Sometimes the release is subtle. Sometimes it is more overt. Often it is gradual like peeling off layer by layer of an onion and what has been held is gently brought forth to be integrated as you soften and awaken to the soul.

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Reiki Healing Circle

When: March 14

10:00 AM Central Time

Where: Zoom

A link will be emailed 

In each circle, you will:

• be empowered with a Reiki energy crystal
• receive healing energy
• send healing to others
• join in immersing the planet in healing energy

Sessions are on the second Saturday of each month at 10:00 AM Central Time. To join, visit https://www.fosterwholeness.net/reiki-circle, complete the form and click subscribe. Then follow the link to PayPal. Once payment is made, I will send you a Zoom link a couple of days before the session.

Join us and help make a difference in the world.